DEAR AMY: I work in a hospital that has a costume code that clearly states that workers is to not put on fragrance or cologne.
I’m allergic to some scents and chemical substances and I’ve submitted a letter from my physician to the worker well being division and the director of nursing – to no avail.
Each worker on my unit is aware of of my allergy they usually proceed to put on sturdy fragrance and cologne.
Normally it makes me vomit a number of instances throughout my shift.
I usually get wanting breath, however I’ve a rescue inhaler and usually recuperate inside an hour or so.
Final week I had a swollen tongue and sores in my mouth as a result of publicity.
My final response was terrifying and it took a number of days for the sores to go away.
I really like my job.
I’ve been there over eight years and I hoped to retire from there (I’m 50).
What ought to I do?
– Allergic Worker
DEAR ALLERGIC: Your co-workers are placing your well being in danger, and your physique’s response – vomiting, shortness of breath, and sores – may additionally expose your medically fragile sufferers to some danger.
The way in which you describe the conduct of your colleagues quantities to office bullying, and a callous disregard to your well being.
It’s best to kick your advocacy up a number of notches, contacting HR, your union (in case you have one), an employment lawyer, and researching your rights and choices by way of the Equal Employment Alternative Fee (eeoc.gov).
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DEAR AMY: Thirty years in the past, I started a romantic relationship with “Bonnie.” We have been each married.
The connection lasted for 16 years and produced a baby (“W”).
Bonnie was very completely happy that I used to be W’s father. I used to be capable of go to/play with W as a toddler and had two likelihood conferences with W as a baby.
After 16 years, Bonnie stopped seeing me, however we continued to speak by cellphone virtually day by day. We talked for six years, however then Bonnie abruptly stopped.
That was 9 years in the past.
In addition to lacking Bonnie, I actually miss listening to about W. Bonnie knew I liked youngsters and she or he did an exquisite job of informing me of W’s life.
I’ve tried contacting Bonnie, however she has not responded.
By social media I see that W is doing properly and seems to have life.
I don’t know if Bonnie ever advised W about me, however I think about it’s a really tough topic to deliver as much as your grownup youngster while you’re nonetheless married.
W works close to the place I stay, and I wish to introduce myself.
I might a lot reasonably have Bonnie introduce me, however she appears to have closed that door.
It will be very simple for me to show that I’m W’s father.
I don’t need to intrude with Bonnie’s marriage.
The principle factor I need is for W to know that I care.
I don’t assume W has the most effective relationship with Bonnie’s husband, and I hope assembly me would assist.
Regardless that it could be startling and upsetting, I wouldn’t anticipate W to vary their life for me.
Any ongoing relationship could be completely as much as W.
Youngsters ought to know who their organic mother and father are, however ought to I do that?
– Keen Dad
DEAR EAGER: You define many years of infidelity and really transient contact with the kid you fathered – with no acknowledgment, involvement or monetary help – after which ask if you’re doing the appropriate factor.
Um, no to that.
No to all of that.
Sure, “W” has the appropriate to know their DNA heritage, and you need to disclose this. W additionally has the appropriate to just accept or reject having a private relationship with you.
And sure, this contact may blow up “Bonnie’s” marriage and have an effect on everybody’s life (together with yours) in probably extraordinarily profound methods.
I recommend reaching out to W by way of non-public message (that method you possibly can see if the message has been opened and skim).
Embody all of the methods W can contact you, and look ahead to W to determine what to do about this probably life-altering and essential flip.
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DEAR AMY: “Extraordinarily Conflicted Husband” described his spouse’s superior dementia and questioned if he ought to succumb to temptation and reply to an aggressive girl pal he’d gone to highschool with.
I couldn’t imagine that you just advised him to go forward.
– Upset
DEAR UPSET: I suggested Conflicted to keep away from his former highschool fling. I did say that I believed he may pursue a relationship with a sort and secure particular person – so long as he didn’t abandon his spouse.
(You possibly can electronic mail Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or ship a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Field 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You too can comply with her on Twitter @askingamy or Fb.)
© 2022 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content material Company, LLC.
